Okay, so the temp job is getting a little bit better. So far I've just been doing catch up work. But now I'm getting a better grasp of what is "abnormal," I'm going to be getting my channels next week. The staff has been really kind. Though there is this awkward undercurrent of stuff that goes unsaid.
Meanwhile at the Chevy dealership it's F*** this and F*** that! and "I don't know what's worse, the Italians or the Gypsies." I mean, so much of it is absolutely offensive and biggoted. But also hilarious when you take two steps back from the situation and watch it like TV.
Then Dr. G... oh the doctor... she's pulling her end of month crap again. Where she tries not to pay me and I have to get all huffy. Soon we'll have a confrontation, she'll pay me like... 2 weeks late and we'll continue in this little cloud of tension until the contract ends. Because it doesn't seem like she's going to fire me because I do have a lot of specific knowledge regarding her accounts. And I'm not going to quit because I feel obligation to see all of my contracts through.
I hit meltdown yesterday when I found out that Dr. G was trying to hide payments from me (my paycheck is dependant on the payments, I get 5%). I'm working 7 days a week. I come home from my jobs with their regular hours and I sit down and do 2 -3 hours of billing, while Mister makes dinner and keeps me company. I wind up with a good 2 hours of "Nanette Time" each night before I have to go to bed... because without sleep, I will really meltdown. Like non-functioning, skip work kind of meltdown.
So I made it two weeks and two days. Pathetic. I'm just feeling pressure to take care of all of our expenses since Mister's job isn't paying as much as we'd hoped. He's having a hard time getting hours since he's the new guy. Low man on the totem pole.
It's just stress. It's not the good kind either. It's the yucky, give-you-grey-hair stress. Normally, I handle stress 3 different ways.
1 - Eating.
2 - Shopping.
3 - Socializing.
1 - I'm kinda bummed out about my weight so this is not an option.
2 - We aren't making enough money to finance any fun shopping trips.
3 - I HAVE NO FRIENDS IN THIS CITY YET... And I've been too busy working to make any... but before that I wasn't meeting anyone because I didn't have a job. Are we seeing the cycles here?
And last night I had my first overwhelming feeling of "OMG. I'm almost 30 and I've done nothing with my life. I can't believe I'm not settled into a career path. I don't have my master's. I am making $12 an hour. I made more than this in college. My life has peaked already."
I've gotta have a major attitude check if I'm going to adapt to this transition. I need to remember what I'm grateful for. I need to remember that I don't have to spend money to be happy. I need to remember that exercise can be a great decompressor of the giant demands that life makes and will help me reach my goal. You don't need a nap, Nanette. You need a nice long walk around the neighborhood.
We are humans. We have an incredible capacity for coping and adaptation. That's why we're biologically one of the most successful mammals on earth. So it's time to evaluate and trim the fat (literal and figurative). It's time to get back on the job hunt even though I'm already doing full-time temp. Let's see if I can get into a nice locally owned company as a front desk manager/receptionist/catch-all for $17 an hour that also has nice health benefits (a girl can dream, right?!) That's what I want for our little house.
If not, we can squeeze by with what I'm making and I can push to get into the TV place full-time afterwards if they'll have me.
You know... if there is one lesson that the universe keep slapping my face with... it's PATIENCE YOUNG GRASSHOPPER. I want it to all be good RIGHT NOW. I don't want to wait and see what happens. I want to rest assured that our needs are taken care of.
Oh and this week I got to pet a llama. Photos soon.
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