I love my dad. Really do. Which is why I was absolutely furious to hear that after he broke his foot, he wasn't following doctors orders, he was putting weight on the damaged appendage... and why I was absolutely furious to hear that his diabetes is so out of control (checked into the E.R. with a blood sugar count of 400). Okay... I'm not really mad. I'm something. But I don't know what it is yet. I'm concerned. I'm expecting some radical changes soon. He could be losing a foot... amputation. But this is all potential. Teetering on the brink of a family disaster.
Part two. Apathy Monster.
The Apathy Monster hides in the corners of your life... and when things are going downhill (lawyer guy, dad, social life, grades, etc) and you really need to get your priorities straight THAT is when the Apathy Monster pounces. Kicked while you're down. Hopeless to fight. And once the Apathy Monster has you, it devours you. At that point... no matter how much kicking and screaming and ranting and raving and punching and protesting you do, it's all fruitless.
I'm in the belly of the beast. Homework is piling up. Music to learn. Papers to write. Stuff to analyze. Favors to complete. I haven't been here for a couple years. I hope that this Apathy Monster has been eating it's fiber and I will exit naturally and quickly.
It was purely luck that dear friend, Z, saw me get eaten by the monster. He's been whispering encouragement from the outside.
Part three. Creativity.
The Art in me has died... well maybe it's just in critical condition, a coma? Partially due to Part Two, however, could entirely be rut-ville. Trying to get out of rut-ville. Trying to step away from the formulas. Trying to step away from what I know. Trying to not try? It's not really working. But I'm quite sure it's almost time for Thanksgiving Break. It might not happen soon enough to save The Art. Hang in there. I hope it's a coma... and when it comes to, it will see that I waited for it this entire time.
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| Renana Kishon (L) poses next to an art installation depicting former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon lying comatose in a hospital bed before it's official opening at her gallery in Tel Aviv October 18, 2010. |
Part four. Editing.
Life is too short to be constantly editing. I'm guilty of this even here. Where no one is reading. Constantly riddled by the most clever way to be vague, instead of saying exactly what I mean. Shall practice that, must unlearn this bad habit.
Done for now, Loves,
Nanette
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