A Summer Challenge

I've been struck by utter boredom and complete dissatisfaction this past week. True to form, that means imploding and self-destructive thoughts. So in order to escape my brain, to escape my own discernment, I came up with a list of things to keep myself busy.

No. You can't see the list.

However, one of the challenges is to do at least a ten-minute write, five days a week. Starting here...   that way I have someone (you), to keep me accountable.

Today's immediate worries... 

• Finances - of course. Summer always sucks as far as money is concerned. An abundance of time, but not an abundance of work hours. A more efficient person would get a second job. But as I'm severely limited by lack of car, I would have to get something on campus... if only there were more jobs on campus. But alas, a couple more months of the poor-itude and it will be over. 
• Graduation - I know it's a year away. But the imminent doom of post-graduation life is daunting. Paying back loans. Getting a "real" job. Going to grad school? Moving somewhere new. I keep suppressing those thoughts... however, now is the time to start making lists and preparations to make that transition a little easier. 
• Weight - It has been summer of the fat cow. A constant criticism of everything I'm doing, or not doing, is niggling at the back of my head. It's on the list... Breaking patterns, breaking habits, creating new ones. Replacement behavior. Structure. Forethought. Trying to make healthier decisions easier to make and more beneficial. 

One of the other things on the list is trying to be less negative/cynical. So I also need to acknowledge the things that are going well for me.

Today's good things... 

• A trip to Idaho Falls with Jacob... putting secrets in the post secret books. 
• Mark A. is in town. Good and bad... sometimes he propels my negative thinking forward. But I will look at this trip as the chance to be incredibly positive. 
• A new book... *drool*
• A short shift.
• Expressed interest in the management position in the fall. I might be considered for it. Waiting to get my hopes up. Either way, there will probably be pay raises in August. 

Oh lists, you make life see so much more manageable, organized and easier to face. Must keep making lists. Inspirational lists. heh. 

To avoid stagnancy... It's also on the list to make daily goals.

Today's goals...

• Spend recreational time OUTSIDE: night walk, read on the quad, meander down old town... JUST GET OUT OF THE FREAKING HOUSE. 
• Get halfway done with the book. 
• Refuse to get pulled into the nasty, dramatics between people. 
• Relax and learn how to enjoy summer

Loves, 

Nanette