Secrets...

Jacob and I went to I.F. yesterday to deposit secrets (cards with artistically attached bits of our information). Mine still weren't completely secret. I don't really have much that I keep from the world, or anyone in particular. Life is easier when you're not keeping things from people. It's not like I have the overwhelming urge to share everything in my life with everyone. I just don't feel that any of it is dramatic enough to be secretive. www.postsecret.com

Stupid Drama. I'm in the middle of something right now. I shouldn't say anything about specific parties. But more than anything, I DESPISE being put in the middle. The most productive way to solve any problems or animosities is to talk directly to the person with whom you have issues. Trouble only gets bigger when more people know about it.

Now I'm sure the word "hypocrite" could be used right now. I'm an external processor. I talk, I reason, I write. That's how I figure out my problems. Usually it comes back to bite me in the ass. But when I'm doing this, I just want someone to listen. I don't want someone to get involved. I don't want a resolution to my problem. I want to be heard. That's why I like writing so much. I can say my peace before someone tries to magically swoop in and solve my problems or in most cases, complicate the matter further. 

A phrase keeps floating through my head... directly associated with the current situation. "my words, as weapons." Whenever we talk, my words, instead of being a thought process, or a way to sift through the jumbled mess of life, turn into these pain nuggets. Hoard the pain nuggets, sir. Use them to hurt. Use them to do evil. Collecting ammo. On the defense. Thinking how they can use them to come out on top. It's villainous. 

That must feel like a very difficult life; thinking everyone is against you. If life has taught me anything... it's that people just don't think that much about you. People think about themselves. People think about their own advancement. It's not horrible, it's not selfish, it just IS. Sometimes others get hurt along the way. Apologize. I have yet to meet someone who feels their purpose is to directly interfere with others' lives. 

Meddlers do exist. Buttinskies. People who thrive on drama. But I'm quite positive they don't feel that their job in life is to directly screw with people. I'm pretty sure there's either A) an absence of direction or B) A need to connect or be recognized, AKA attention whoredom. (I, personally, identify with B). 

I believe it was John Green who once said... "The better you do at imagining what it's like to be other people, the happier you'll be." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd_bVk3ajk0&feature=related   

I completely, wholeheartedly agree. Empathy is the key to understanding another person's actions and resolving conflict. 

Loves, 

Nanette