24 INTENSE hours

As a preface, I know I'm retarded. Hush up.

Okay, placed an online personal ad in efforts to stir up some straight dating... or even make some straight friends. Stop feeling that "DANGER, Will Robinson!" feeling, I know what I'm doing. IT'S HARD!

Date one - Intense guy.
Brings over a movie... I have a friend on call elsewhere that if I don't contact by midnight, was going to stop by. A movie I've never seen. As soon as the movie starts, he begins talking. So much for the movie. He's irrational. Aggressive. Prone to anger. He keeps telling me I'm everything he could want. I'm smart, wonderful, talented, intriguing, beautiful. Nothing puts me on guard like compliments. PARTICULARLY when they don't know me.   He takes a trip to the bathroom... then jumps up on my bed. I heard him not wash his hands. ugh. He pretends to be into what we're watching... but I can see he's watching me out of the corner of his eye...  "Don't fuck with me. I'm an experienced people watcher," I think to myself. He keeps scooting closer. I'm on the edge of the bed. We're lying on our stomachs...   propped up by our arms... then he takes one arm and puts it around my shoulders.

please. Take a moment. Imagine how awkward that is.

"Ohhh! Smooth!" I tease.
"You want to see smooth?"
"well..."
He goes in for a kiss. It's wet, frantic, tobacco-y and BAD. I think... nerves? The part of me that I hate and curse says everyone deserves a second chance... and boy does he need one. Allow a second kiss. Still bad. Sealed his fate. SEALED IT. DONE. FINI.

"Hey, it's almost midnight. I've got early work tomorrow morning. I've gotta go to bed. I'm tired and that's not fair to either of us."

Send him packing and cringe at the awkwardness that I ALLOWED. I ALLOWED. I ALLOWED. I'm a powerful, pushy woman who determines where her life goes and what enters it.. and I ALLOWED it.

"we still on for coffee tomorrow?"
"sure."

I CONTINUED TO ALLOW IT. I wish I could take "be an immediate bitch 101." So not feeling it.

Next day... date 2 and 3.
Will report in the next installment.