First of all, if you happen to lock yourself out of your house because you grabbed the bag with books that you wanted signed and forgot the other bag that had your keys and your tickets... You can call the box office and have them reprinted if you have the original card you charged them to and a photo ID. Having both your ID and your debit card and a cellphone to call them on, while forgetting your purse is what we call a FORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCE.
Next... if you find that you're running late because you were panicking about losing the tickets to the show and had to call the box office and then the cute guy you were spending the day with decides to get lost on the way to the post office, where he was going to drop off a package prior to driving you directly to the city... If that happens, and he drops you off 6 avenues away from your destination because it's rush hour. Don't take the bus. Don't take the subway either, there'll inevitably be something like a shooting, or someone falling onto the tracks, or some sort of police related thing that will block off the entrance you need. Walk. Because you can beat the bus there by a full avenue.
Now since you're running a little late, and you're an inherently super early person... you'll still be able to get in line for the will call tickets and pick them up before the show starts. Don't forget that you bought nosebleed tickets. So you'll be climbing 4-5 flights of stairs in your wool outside coat and scarf because you wouldn't have thought to take it of while you were standing in line for your ticket. Just think of the 6 avenue speed walk as a warm up.
Once you get to your seat... you will be so grateful that you got the tickets on the aisle at the front of the balcony. No one obstructs your view. You can't see anyone's cell phone (there were SOOOO many cellphones). You will be able to observe all the Green related fashion statements. Giraffe Love, Pizza John, DFTBA... all the nerdfighter attire available if you click the links in the doobly-doo on the youtube videos is displayed on LIVE NERDY MANNEQUINS. Absolutely everyone is buzzing with a general goodwill. You hear "DFTBA" exchanged through the audience like that whole "peace be unto you" bit that they do during masses.
The lights dim... Silence hums... The stage door opens and you scream and stand, clapping. But it's not weird... Because everyone else is LOSING it. You may be the only one crying tears of complete joy though it's highly unlikely.
Hank begins with an interactive crowd warmer... A ditty that ends in "...At Carnegie Hall (stomp, stomp)." He interrupts John every time he tries to speak and get the evening started. Nerds stomp the floor in time. Your mind will REEL with all the operatic, classical and historical performances you know happen here (like Marilyn Horne doing a masterclass in the adjacent hall) and the irreverence of stomping both tickles you pink and feels like sacrilege.
It goes by in a blur... Readings from The Fault In Our Stars by the youtube actors who the Lizzie Bennet diaries (an homage to Pride and Prejudice). A meaningful speech from John. Songs from Hank. The Mountain Goats. My Drunk Kitchen girl shows up, along with NEIL GAIMAN!!! and they do a competitive Question Tuesday. Loser gets electrocuted. Some more youtube stars show up and they read from Looking For Alaska... John Green has selected a scene that forces Neil Gaiman to say "I can imagine myself sucking donkey balls." Which of course... is hilarious. Kimya Dawson shows up (think Juno soundtrack, singer for the Moldy Peaches) and does a short set that you will go home and buy on iTunes.
The audience is nothing but responsive and supportive. They clap after nearly every sentence that John utters. Especially anything that mentions a book. You get tired of that. Let the man speak! Sheeesh.
The evening comes to an end with Hank playing a couple songs. The Quarks one in particular. They get ovation-ed back on stage. You start to sneak out... because let's be real here... Hanks songs are #2 to the insight of John and you want to get to the front of any sort of book signing line. You slip out and ask the ushers where the signing is. They don't know about any signing and if there's an after party it's going to be backstage on the "Dress Circle" seating level. (*note*for the future).
On the way home, you sit there and think about that time that Michelle Williams came into Kidville and you didn't recognize her. You even entered her credit card into the system and thought to yourself "Michelle Williams, that sounds like someone famous." You compare it to the authors on stage tonight. Both of which haven't appeared in any huge movies. No one would know them apart from Adam on the street.... let alone scream and cry with joy when they walk onto the stage. You realize how much more impact books and ideas have on your life than TV and movies.
You have a new found meaning to the essence of the phrase "Words have power." And a few good ideas of what you'd like to take from the evening. And a sense of there being a lot of good, but probably too shy to always be blatantly awesome, people in the world.
John gave a great analogy... Something like... I was walking along... to get pizza. The earth opened up and I fell into a giant chasm. When you walk by instead of running for help, you jump into the chasm.
"What?!? You're stupid for doing that!"
"Well now I'm highly motivated to get us out and until then, you've got good company."
Books are the companions in the abyss. They aren't saviors from it. They are the friend that jumps down with you. To save oneself from abyss takes collaboration. You won't find that inside yourself. You find that in joining with others.
He used the word collaboration to mean anything from conversing with friends about the kind of person we want to be and the kind of world we want, to actively creating something together (see brotherhood 2.0). For you music folk, you know the term collaborative artist... your accompanist, an instrumentalist. But your collaborative artists are also the ones you surround yourself with when you're not creating music... When you're not actively creating something like music, art, literature, blah blah blah, you're creating yourself.
Evening of Awesome Indeed.
Nanette
Love this synopsis. I'm totally jealous and excited you got to go. :)
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