Only Kinda...

I hate new years resolutions.

A - Shouldn't they happen on your birthday since that's when your new year ACTUALLY starts?
B - We've weakened the word "resolution" by applying it to goals that only last 30 days, if that.

But I do love a good excuse to make lists. So here's the deal folks. This is the list of goals I've been working on... and will continue to work on. GOALS. None of that break-a-promise-to-yourself "resolution" garbage.

- Read 100 books.
- Move to NY
- Graduate (ACTUALLY THIS TIME).- eta May
- Save $3000 by June
- Throw one thing away every day for a month.
- Continue to lose weight... -100 LBS total...   that's the goal.

Life is so good right now. I'm half dating a NICE boy. I'm working! I'm working out (with a trainer, even)! I need to practice. But I actually WANT to. Tax return is on the way. So many of those goals are close enough to taste. I have a routine... but it's flexible and includes such things as: going to the library once a week, exercising my body, writing blogs, working and doing an hour of creativity a day. This is the life.

Know what's really awesome!?

I don't have to go to school this semester.
I just need to finish my piano proficiency test.
Then I have a degree (useless? not sure yet).
I don't have to buy books, or give motivational speeches to get myself to attend.

Also, I get to keep my two campus jobs.
And Probably get a third.
I'm considered an Alumnus.
So I get to keep my gym membership at a discount rate.

My body weighs 43 pounds less than it did at this time last year.
I've learned a whole book of new recipes.
Stuff is slowly disappearing from my apartment - in a good way.
Life and Scheduling should be simple.

Dr. A's grant fell through.
He can't offer me the discount.
I don't have to take choir.
I don't have to deal with "environment vs cost, is it worth it?" anymore.

I have a back up plan for NYC.
Just in case my savings doesn't cover enough.
Time to polish up several versions of my resume.
Time to money diet, food diet and resource diet like a champ!

Big Fat Uncharacteristically Positive Love
Nanette

That creative thing...

I'm having urges to start visual journaling again. I haven't done it for a couple of months and my fingers twitch with the excitement of paint and stamps and paper and ribbons and all the things to just PLAY with!

Plus, it is encouraging to that part of me that wants to finish everything in my house. I have so many things that need using! I'm hoping I can use most of my paints before moving. They don't travel well on planes.

I'm a broken record... So much so that even I am getting sick of it. NYC, music, graduation, impatience. BLEH!

So here's the new tidbit. I'm going to be in chamber choir again. I'm enrolling for next semester so I can get loans and go to Italy. I'm going to Italy. It's been a tough decision. I don't particularly enjoy chamber choir, or, I haven't in the past. Here's to trying something new this time.

A) I refuse to jump in on gossip, positive or negative.
B) I refuse to refrain from speaking my mind and building up contention.
C) I refuse to get frustrated with learning as a process. I will respect that it happens in small changes.
D) I refuse to think of myself as an individual in the choir, this group needs some serious unity happening.

Ultimately, I've seen/heard a lot of disrespectful things about peers and teachers. I own that I'm part of that. But I'm willing to be part of the solution as well. Just because I don't agree with someone doesn't mean that I can't respect their opinions or at the very least remember that they are that, someone's opinion. I am capable of compromise and communication. I am capable of learning my music on my own, but that's not enough in a large group. I will create a quartet in order to help the entire group, myself included. A crappy group represents all the singers in it... I'm tired of crappy, sub-par feelings when it comes to music. And frankly, we're going on tour, so it's important that the collective get their poop in a group, stop making excuses and GET IT DONE WELL.

Let's see how long this song lasts,
Nanette

Wrap it up...

One semester closer... almost.
I just taught my last lesson... almost.
I just finished my last diction assignment... almost.
I've completed my English Portfolio... almost.
I've completed my last Form assignment... almost.

Everything is sort of drawing to a close. But I'm stuck waiting. Waiting for my drafts to be returned to make the last edits for the english portfolio.

Waiting for the performance in Ped to be over so I can start studying for my ONLY final.

Waiting for Ms. Lane and Dr. Adam's to hand out their take home finals.

It's such a week full of almost and it makes me ALMOST want to cry. I am one credit away from a complete music break.

This girl wants a vacation. This girl wants a fresh start. This girl wants to slowly cleanse her life of all the crap that surrounds it. check. check. check. Slowly ticking things off the list. Every week I'm throwing away something I don't want to. Stuff I can't sell. Stuff I can't give away. Stuff I'll never use again. De clutter. Simplify. Garbage. Let go... and lose some friggin weight.

Nanette

Dear form...

You suck. Ultra hard.

I try my hardest every Tuesday and Thursday not to walk out of class.

I'm more confused about form than ever. But I must go to class.

Must level up. Must beat the boss. Or I'll never complete the game.

The game where the princess gets to go home to NY and be freed from the uglynasty.

But only if you pass form.

pass form.

pass go.

collect diploma.

Here's the thing...

Patient is never a word used to describe me...

Lately, I'm more impatient than ever...
-to go to NYC
-to graduate
-to beef up my savings account
-to get all that dental work done
-for the next payday
-for that person to stop talking to me even after I've given them like 10 social cues that I'm done listening.
-to meet that one guy over Thanksgiving Break.
-for the weekend to get here.
-to sell all the stuff in my apartment.
-to lose this weight.
-to start fresh.  

So dear everyone,
Watch out. I want out. Come hell or high water, I will get the crap done that I need to. I will get the money saved that I need to.
Sincerely, Nanette

A hopeful list...

There are so many positions available on the NYC city jobs website... and the craigslist is brimming with administrative opportunities... and THE Met has a administrative assistant position open that I would LOVE to fill. I am filled with hope that my 5 years working in ITS services, with customer service and administrative duties.... and two years organizing social events as a choir president... not to mention a natural proficiency with most software. AHHHH!!!! I feel like I could be in the running for some of these jobs! But I can't apply yet because I'm not willing to relocate until next semester AT THE EARLIEST.

On top of that, a rejuvenated sense of health...   If I work hard, then I won't be dismissed in interviews for physical appearance... Because, let's be honest here, it happens. It's definitely inspiration and motivation to keep my butt moving. I have to keep thinking, this isn't a phase, it's a new lifestyle. I am not allowed to drop weight and then go back to eating what I want. I need to change the "what I want" part.

Okay... so... the current goals.

• learn how to use a multi-line phone system. 
• Get out and about at least once a day until the gym membership starts again. 
• save $5000 for the NYC move. 
• GRADUATE... (stupid, this has been on the goals list for 3 semesters). 
• do something creative every day
• update my resume
• start minimizing the crap in my life. (aka: sell movies, books and cds). 
• Drop 50lbs before the move.